Bogan Trek: The next generation

I’m not saying other royal kids don’t act up on occasion (ahem, Froilan kicking a flower girl at Letizia and Felipe’s wedding?) but Frederik and Mary’s kids are massively fucked up.  Christian is already exhibiting attention whoring tendencies, and IsNOTabella has got to be the most miserable little princess ever.  They only look happy when their nannies are taking care of them.

Shall we walk down amnesia lane?

Izzy a baby in her pram, and whack, here comes Mommie Dearest’s purse on top of the poor kid.

See her little hand?

Yeah, that’s a fucking BABY in there, Mary, you stupid twat!

Like I said, she just hates that poor ugly kid.

That is one seriously fucked up print to put on a little girl, even one as fugly as poor IsNOT.

Christian has his usual “children of the corn” expression.

IsNOTabella is just happy that people are cheering, ’cause she doesn’t get that at home.

How happy can a child possibly be when the circulation in her legs is being cut off by uber-tight socks?

Of course, Mumsy is not worried about that.  She is smiling for her BFFs, the photographers she alerts to her every move.

Seriously, you know how we get cranky when we’ve got the Spanx on, because that shit works but is tight as heck, imagine a poor little girl with those socks on.

And you see how one leg seems longer?  HMMMM!

Doesn’t Mary look thrilled to be out with her kids and husband?  And bodyguards?

She looks so happy to be pushing little IsNOT.

Look at the way she looks tenderly at her oldest meal ticket, I mean, child.

Mary is Mother of the Year, for sure, so full of love and nurturing!

This charming little fucker is the future king of Denmark.

Nice to see his parents aren’t even teaching him basic manners.

Most of the time, I admit, I just want to slap the shit out of Christian.

But only after I bitchslap Mary.  Hard.

Because there is no reason that little girl should always look so fucking glum.

I can count on one hand the number of times IsNOTabella has looked happy.

That’s very few happy times when you’re in as many photoshoots as this family is in.

I figure the space-camp silver vest is not helping poor Izzy’s mood.

See the blue shoes in the back?  Those are Mary’s.  They were new.  She was debuting her brand new, designer-I’m-sure, blue shoes.  While her fatfaced daughter was wearing dirty old shoes with holes on them.

And is barely able to stand on her own two feet at 1 1/2 years of age.  IsNOTabella’s foot deformities have made her relationship with her ice-cold mother worse.  Bad enough the poor mite’s homely, but to have fucked up feet?

Why is no one watching this child?  Why is she allowed to cavort on the floor like this? Is holding her legs spread open an ok thing to do in her family?  Is she being taught life lessons by her mommy already?

They say children imitate what they see.  We should see Izzy rubbing men’s chests at bars, soon, then.

Why does IsNOTabella get passed on to a bodyguard while BOTH PARENTS are holding Christian’s hands?

Why has Mary NEVER held her daughter with such care?

Fuck her, she’s not the future monarch, she’s got fucked up feet, and she’s damn ugly, right?

This is just about the best IsNOTabella has ever looked.

Neat shiny hair – which her mother can’t manage most of the time – in nice braids.

Too bad the dress looks kind of drab.

Oh wait!


Oh yeah, the kid’s limp hair falls out of the braids and we quickly go from best to worst.

Because seriously, this is the worst picture ever of IsNOTabella.  Fat faced, slack-mouthed, heavy-jowled.

No wonder image-conscious Mary just hates her daughter.

And punishes her for being ugly by putting her in ugly clothes and bad shoes.

Here, Izzy wears a nice white dress, BUT look at the ugly, dirty, black shoes.

Come on!

Will anyone speak up for this little girl?

Here is another picture (released for Izzy’s first birthday) that clearly illustrates IsNOTabella’s foot problems.  Her feet should not be pointing out like that.

Mary helpfully said a few months earlier that her daughter was too fat to crawl.  Nice, huh?

Izzy i s obviously a big boned girl liker her Ma, which is probably making Mary itch all over every time she looks at her daughter.

Another birthday photo and that right foot is still massively fucked up.

Either that, or this kid has a future career as a contortionist in Cirque du Fucked Up Bogans!

It’s her damn birthday pics, why the fuck is her brother on them?  Oh yeah, because he’s the one that matters.

Um, ooookay . . .

Knowing that Mary and Frederik have half a dozen nannies, why is no one watching this kid licking the windows?

Did she learn this from Mum, too!

Isn’t this awesome?

IsNOTabella is out and about . . .

in a fucking gray rag . . .

in fucking nasty shoes . . .

with nasty fucking hair . . .

Who the fuck lets their kid out looking like this when photographers are out and about?

Oh yeah.  Mary does.

Aw, look, how sweet.  IsNOTabella snuggling up to her mum.

Who looks, what, loving? caring? nurturing?

Or cold? aloof? annoyed?

I vote for the latter. Bitch, I hope  you get what you deserve in spades!

Poor kid’s turning purple from the lack of oxygen!

Here’s the Mother of the Year with her bratty firstborn upon arrival home.  Never mind she’s a Danish princess, she still refers to Australia as “home”.

Some mothering skills, eh?

I don’t know where Mary’s going to put all her Mother of the Year awards.  Must be why she got 20 bathrooms in her new home.

Holding onto her kid, the ugly one, BY THE HAIR while posing for the photographers and talking to the old man.

Do they have child services in Denmark?

Because, really, this is unacceptable.

The worst is when they’ve tried all they can, even hair curling on a toddler, for God’s sakes, and you know Mary’s still “god, she’s still fucking ugly, I’m just going to grit my teeth and pose” – because that little girl is never going to be good enough for her bitch of a mother.

This bratty fuckface is wearing Hugo fucking Boss while his sister wears his hand-me-downs.

Gotta love that equality!

But then, Izzy will never be Mary’s meal ticket.

Both parents are just so fucking useless with their children.  They give no parameters or security and therefore the kids act up.

And this is why Mary is always so fucking tense when she’s out with her spawns, because she can’t control them, then she looks like a bitch when dealing with them.

Frederik is just a sack of bones with a title so he doesn’t count.

But when Christian the Creepy got too attached to this nanny, with whom he felt secure and happy, she was immediately fired by Mary.

What a way to create security in your kids, getting rid of the person they love the most!

And we have this snot-nosed, booger-hunting freak of a kid.

Who already knows who he is and how important he is and has learned to pose from Mommy, the Mother of all Attention Whores, while his sister looks glum every chance she gets.

Makes you excited for the next few years, don’t it?

Me too, can’t wait for IsNOTabella to get knocked up by some Danish chav, and for Christian to start frequenting gay bars and get tattoos with some bloke’s name on his arse.

This entry was posted in bitch, IsNOTabella, mary, posing, Xian. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Bogan Trek: The next generation

  1. Holly says:

    Glad to see the ABID blog getting fired up again! Keep it coming! 🙂

  2. Pede says:

    ha ha ha ha….you had me in stitches….

    I’m glad you are posting again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh, lawd, poor Danes – poooooooor, poor Danes!

  3. Oh dear says:

    Don’t you think you’re being just a BIT of a hideous cunt by saying such hideous things about this poor child? I mean, have at the mother all you want, but it is just beyond the pale to say such things about a TODDLER. What the fuck is WRONG with you, you retarded minge?

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