Ok, really, if I were to list every atrocious getup Mary has worn we’d be here until the reign of King Christian the Creepy. There are just some of the worst offenders:
There are ways to do blue with black, darlings, and THIS is not one of them.
Even if the colors were ok, this is a really shapeless outfit, the top is all loosey goosey, and the stripes and the ruffles, it’s just too much.
Come on, Mary, it’s a basic rule: with a loose top, wear slim fitting bottoms, and vice-versa.
But out Mares is wearing Marc Jacobs, and that’s all she cares about!
White top with red cardie that’s straining at the buttons, drab jacket on top, then puffy pants? And red shoes, of course.
And it’s raining.
That’s Prince Henrik on the right with a yellow plastic poncho on. I would have refused that as Mary did, but there’s no rhyme or reason to what she’s got on. Three layers on top and bare legs.
The dress is too ruffly and busy on top, Mary’s too muscular to wear this dainty shit. The color is vile bile yellow.
Even if the dress is hiddy to the core, it’s a statement dress, it should stand on its own (way in the back of a closet, preferably) there should not be competition from leopard print shoes and – quelle horreur! – matching handbag.
Doesn’t help that the bitch can’t walk in a straight line, it’s always walking sideways like a fucking crab so she can face the cameras at all time.
Let me tell you why it doesn’t.
Bad hair. Looks like she gelled the fuck out of it, pulled it back with her fingers, leaving rivulets of gelled hair, and tied it back. Disgusting.
Dress color sucks ass. Washes her out big time and the coat can’t compensate.
But hey, it’s Missoni, it’s a designer, and that’s all Mary cares about.
This hat is hideous and it needs to be trashed like, yesterday.
It looks like a felt-class 101 design project. The color is vile on Mary, the shape is completely unflattering – No Bucket Hats, EVER! – and the material looks cheap, cheap, cheap.
If I am guessing correctly, she has given this to Princess IsNOTabella to wear. After all, she hates the child.
Okay, you might bash me for this one, it was pre-stylist days (I hope!). But considering that these days she still looks like shit WITH a stylist, I think the problem is more cheap, tacky Mares than any designer couture can fix.
What on earth would possess a big boned girl like Mary to wear loose, floaty layer upon layer of fabric is beyond me.
She has not yet discovered high heels, and so she looks stumpy.
She does have that “I’m all that, bitches” smug look on her face, which is still on nowadays, even though her belly button is out there for all and sundry to see.
White top, cream skirt, tan accessories.
The top is what ruins it, it’s too frilly and delicate for a bull-neck lass like Mary.
She was pregnant with Isabella here, and it really does make me wonder if all the ugly-as-sin clothes she wore during this pregnancy made her hate her daughter.
Because she dressed much cuter when preggo with Christian.
This is one fucked up look for Our Mary, all made up like a saloon prostitute.
The dress is a rather ugly shade of green, and only emphasizes her NFL fullback shoulders. No no no!
The makeup is unforgivable. The rumor is she was expecting to be given big jewels as a new fiancee, and she only got the puny bracelet, which is why she had a bitchy look the whole evening.
The dress could have been saved with better makeup and accessories, but that is beyond Mary’s capabilities.
Again, walking sideways so no cameras miss an inch of her loveliness. Purple cheap looking pleather or some other ugly material, massive shoulders on top of HER massive shoulders, dark stockings, lace top peeking above the purple monstrosity, and leopard print shoes.
What. The. Fuck.
And this is with years of help from a stylist, don’t forget.
Another for the record books. Black print tent coat, blue-purple skirt, nude shoes, and a prissy little headband.
Just because they’re nude shoes doesn’t mean you wear them with everything, Mary! I’m so sick of her fucking nude shoes!
The print on the tent coat is hiddy to the max. Should be on some curtains in the spinster aunt’s bedroom or something. The headband is pure 90s Hillary Clinton. All very ugly.
You know? I wonder if Anja (her “stylist” and owner of the shop where Mary sells off her old clothes – by the way as of Jan 20, 2011 you can find the blue/gold striped Marc Jacobs top there, and a crop pink Chloe jacket with big buttons she also wore during Izzy’s pregnancy) actually hates Mary.
This purple thing is a piece of shit. Designer, of course, which Mary thinks she can wear now that she’s skinny, but no. It’s a vile design, so cheap looking and ugly. Hey, just like Mary!
She has worn the thing more than once, if you can believe it. I’d cut it up and make some nice scarves.
Sarah, Duchess of York also has this, and that’s all you need to know.
And yes, this is another pre-princess days but it is so insulting to the rest of us “normal girls” who can put together outfits well, that to say “oh this is because she didn’t have a stylist yet” is a joke.
The dress is so cheap and tacky, see through lacy layer over a hideous green, no bra of course, topped with a black hat and BROWN shoes.
Here you have it, the absolutely worst look EVER by Mary. She looks so common, with her big “celebrity” sunglasses and her feet doing the T like her Starmakers course taught her. What a joke she is. And sadly, what a joke she continues to be, WITH a “stylist” and designer clothes.